I’m please to be a Bruneian. But is the country please to have me?
If you are one of the most lowest chain of an organization; people above you won’t really recognize who you are, and what your demands means to you.
I’m currently struggling in mind on how can I proceed my further education through all of the new in-service barriers. Although I’m still young, and there is actually time for me to improve and gain the requirements; but, is the time enough? and is it going to be easy? Will I eventually get there?
What requirements am I seeking for? Well the new In-service department requires applicants to have 3 years evaluation of working performance background with at least consistent Bs grades; an O level credit for English Language; and lastly the pain of all requirement is the need of 2 A levels.
The In-service department is not only the one who requested for eligibility. The current institution also had set their own requirements to accept students. Right now.. The eligibility to enroll to UBD is, 2 A levels with 160 tariff points, or 3 A levels with 200 points, or IB or HND with the required points too.
So I dislike these fierce requirements and maybe the system too. However, I still need to respect the above authorities. After all these are all services from the government bodies. I could only ask for sympathy though.
Saying these all with barely peace, it makes life even harder to predict what will happened to me (educationally) in the next 5 years. Right now, I can only hope for the better and the ease things to come ahead on my path. There is a lot of self-defragementation to do right now. I need to set my plan and priorities straight. I’m sure in the new plan there are things (dreams) I need to let go. How I felt disappointed to admit it, but I just need to accept that this is life.
If you are my close friend and a friend in my Facebook; I’m sure you noticed how much I crave for a PhD. Yeah I know, I dream very big. However, understanding the in-service program and chances set up by the goverment, I don’t think I could even apply it in time. The limit age for enrolling to a PhD level is 35 years old. I’m coming 24 by the end of this year. With 2 more years in my work experience, then I’ll be eligible to apply for in-service. With the current Diploma on my belt, to reach even a Master is just too far.
After days, of thinking of “PhD”, I come to realized that it won’t be happening; unless there is a miracle. Right now, I’m channeling my energy to my commitment as a teacher at school and also my preparation to retake my A levels exams.
Its been 6 years since I left the final A levels exams. I’m pretty sure I don’t remember what I had learn back then. 2 years (2004-2005) of studying A levels Accounting, Biology and Chemistry are really missed though. Looking it back, makes me feel bad and sad for unable to score the good grades. Kinda reminds me of my dad for being heavily disappointed on me. Blaming myself is not the best solution for now. Learning the mistakes is the right thing to do.
Of course, this life needs to keep moving. Regretting what had happened is bad, so I need to have a positive outlook for the future. My current motivation right now is getting a Degree. But again it won’t be easy. Honestly I’m not sure if I’m that positive too. I seriously need my mental defragmentation to be done soon. I don’t know if what I want is right for me. Its just clear that, for what I really want is impossible to achieve, and the things I don’t really want, just keeps beaming its way on mine. Technically I’m confuse. Confusion makes me feel very demotivated. I am lost. And this thinking makes me tired too. I am really tired. I think this is the right time to say goodbye to my dreams. Goodbye My Dreams. And say Hello to what may come in life. Hello to the new things coming my way.
