After several weeks of curiosity and in denial, I come to a point that I am ready to focus for what must needed. It’s still painful by heart. You almost see all getting what they deserved. At least that’s what being thought.
Teaching English Language to a foreign by nature is a tough job. Having to teach two levels of English Language already is dramatically challenging. Next year, with sadness my challenge will also be increase. I’ve been mapped to teach Lower Primary English. This mean, I’ll be teaching English for three levels; Year 1 up to Year 3.
So many criticism I personally built inside my doubt; but it is nothing but logic and feelings. I found a way for what really matters. What really still matters is the future of the children I touch. Educating and exposing them the world outside is primarily and all the nonsense must be skip which are not even the secondaries.
They have no time and interest to understand individual needs, and someday it will be returned. God’s vengeance is better than a passion revenge. Be mortified in eternity.
I’m taking my deep breath. This is the reality which shapes my future existence. I will miss teaching ICT and visualizing how the ICT room looks like. I will also miss science, the inquiry method approach and working with the Science Unit, CDD MOE. I think Mr. Ng a former Education Officer in Science Unit will be sadden the fact of these change. I believed he had hope on me to be a good leader in Science Brunei Education.
Taking deep breath again. What really concerns me on teaching English is the Syllabus and Scheme. I’m still learning them and trying my best to like it. I never experience in teaching English Year 1, so this will again put me to a situation in which I need to learn more and definitely will make it harder coz I need to learn it in warp speed for the Children sake. I love learning, but forcing to learn and like something which is not really glamourous can be very torturing. The most torturing will be its Lesson Plan. Planing and writing up your plans is two different things. For me, before you come to a class, the plan is already built up in mind if I’m confident to teach that subject. But if you have a syllabus and scheme which are in debt of perfection; you get lost and writing it on a paper is even harder. Some time it fit, and you can open the lock; but most of the time it feels like you have the wrong keys. These wrong keys are making me slow and delaying on my submission of my lesson plan every week. And having to write up 3 levels of English lesson plan will be O.M.G.
The more you are positive and say “I want to have a good life,” the more you build that reality for yourself; by creating the life that you want. It is not always the case that things will fall into your lap or that life will be great, but it is all about perspective and having a positive outlook. If something goes wrong, you say, “That happened for a reason, what can I learn from that and how can I grow?” – Chris Pine
On being focus. Rather than assimilating this negative vibes which never turns helpful, I decided to move forward and keep my chin up. Be positive and accept the challenge. Just get the job done with quality. The goal is simple: For the best of Children’s English Lesson. This is what I want to do, and this is what I want to focus. “Focus all your energy to something which is rather important is the key.” This same sentence was personally advised by Mr. Bob (Robbert) Knowling Jr (Chairman of Eagles Landing Partners and lead facilitator of Brunei’s School Leadership Programme)
Being focus. I need to let go, in order to be focus. I need to return back all my ICT and science resources to my school’s resource room. Need to revise all the English Language teaching pedagogy. I need to arrange all the linguistic and teaching reading methodology neatly on the bookshelf. I want to be ready for next year. I will learn and never give up. I will learn, never give up and never defeat. Technically there are plenty to learn now. In summary I need to master how to teach Reading; Thinking & understanding; Writing and communication skills.
Last but not least, I want to be the awesome teacher; just like my past teachers who inspires me. They taught me the subject contents and they taught me on living. Until now, they are still helping me out.
“You’re cruelty, and injustice. Waiting by the heaven doors to drag you to hell. You cost a life a living pain, they’ll cost yours in eternity.” – The one you murdered a dream & a life. Who’s worried now? Bitch. Even in death, forever they speaks.
