Expertise on stupid can be intelligent at itself department. But for us mocking someone stupid, we actually forget that stupid is actually an intelligent ethnic on their world, which make us even worst because we are not close being intelligent in our so called intelligence of the ego world.
The word ‘stupid’ is a mean word and I hardly even use it, instead I like to replace it with crazy. Crazy for me, personally is accepted, I like to define crazy as behavior not as to define their brain being crazy, but more toward crazy as in culture. Well for you Bruneians Stupid may said as Buduh and Crazy may translated to Giler. Ironically both Buduh and Giler is a strong word for Malay community. But now, youngsters these days doesn’t really get that precious words and they easily used it when they failed with their anger management. But then again I still prefer using giler instead of buduh. I guess my sense principle of language is parallel for malay and English language. Not all English and Malay language can easily substitute; for an easy explanations why it can’t be done, because it doesn’t fit when we hold the sentences with other words and eventually translation and meaning are lost without taking care of the grammar and meaning..
Recently, and i think it was last month wait.. wait I can’t really remember when; lost track already. He was angry about something that I did. YEAH! I know.. 2008 is a year of mistakes, so be careful don’t get too close with me, coz i might kill your pet next :S. So he called me stupid for few times, well in malay that is. I was about to say sorry, but he was so excited with being angry so why not let him built a huge flame on me. Once and a while Its good to be angry, coz it help exercise your adrenaline and blood level once a while. What I’m trying to say here is the combination of angry person with a shouting tune of Stupid for a couple of times can be so an pathetic experience. You started to feel cold and low esteem starting to rise and the little voices of yours starting to agree with the other parties that you are REALLY stupid. So by the end of the night i have to agree i was being stupid; ridiculous stupid.
The luck of stupid can be well and can also be worst. Some mistakes can be forgiven but some not. To make notes on the consequences points seems easy, but if you reflect on yourself, practically monitoring your life progress, being stupid is commonly done. I feel shame on admitting so many stupid things I’ve done that are unrecoverable forever. Technically being stupid is part of our genetic coding? It will be an inspiration for those who never done any mistakes at all.
Ironically being able to make friends easily is also my weakness for leveling it up with loosing friends dramatically in the same time. I easily forget their names and all and even worst i can’t even remember most of my friends birthday. Mentally I still believe my mind is OK, but how do people feel about me? Am I being stupid?
Being extreme politically social in schools but being anti-social outside college is a major contradictions. I love the fact that I so can blend in with the school networks, name it! teachers, students, officers they are incredibly my good friends. BUT what happen to me outside my school world? Frankly, I’ll be the worst social person you ever met. The fact that i hate looking myself alone at a public store or restaurant, but incongruously i really love being alone. I can’t help it. I love to watch and catch a movie alone, I like to eat sushi alone (MISATO), unless my very good friend is here; that will be another story. Whats the deal here? How much i like to hang out and laugh with people around me but then in the same time, beneath my skin I question myself, am I happy? Or Am I being stupid again?
“I’m safe to say I’m actually good handling the cuzns of my interested women. But then flirting with her cuzns wont really help to get her hahaha.. and then again it’s added to my stupidity list too.”
I see people sadness, I see people being happy and the worst part between the two, sometimes people fake it. For ALL! I love my friends and sometimes I like to be a hero and bulge in with their problems and all. Some friends may like it for me making a special appearance in their personal sad movie title, but some defines me as “disturbia”. Honestly I like to listen, I like to help but most of the time people don’t really get my sincerity. You might come across this in a movie “I was just trying to help“, yes I usually end up saying it in my real world. And the sad part of being stupid again is, In the end you eventually lost the person you love. For my case here its my good friend. So let me say it once again, to make a clarity here: I keep on loosing my friends, and even worst the good friends of mine.
I think this stupidity in my gene coding is not genetic, but a gift from heaven? My family doesn’t have this virus on them. They ROCK! with their social life. Because of the above reasons, I let myself abandon the world of permanent. And I keep telling myself that every moment is just temporary. What left within myself is history, history, history and memories.
DO stupidity have a cure? It might be possible and may be there are some probability about it. So far my medicine to keep me healthy from people is loving myself to be alone, be there when invited, don’t get too attached with people, and just live like ‘there’s a beginning and also an ending’. Life is just temporary, and between the lines I have lost a lot of good friends and people. I love them but I can’t keep them, because my stupidity will eventually hurt them. You think you can help them, but making it the worst, where do you stand now? And the worst ever is being called stupid by the people you loved; and by that moment I was regretting and i was too late to say sorry. I wish and I want to become a carefree person but I can’t. It seems i was born like this (but I’m still trying tho) I should have taking social work studies. LOL. Being so far from being perfect is a reality.
This is for now, I pray my fate will change. And I’m still looking forward on how to migrate to another place; before that time comes, I’ll just keep on imagining the possibility of having a new life and all.
You want somebody, just anybody
To lay their hands on your soul tonight
You want a reason to keep believin’
That some day you’re gonna see the light…
‘Cause you’re desperate, desperate
‘Cause you’re desperate tonight
Oh, desperate… So desperate tonight, Tonight…
(Desperate – David Archuleta)
