Alid Misli

This is just the random night where, I can’t sleep and can’t even continue my work. I know what I’m thinking and feels, but I did my best to ignore it. It’s the time where I get so numb and felt the silent within me. Its those time when I miss the misses so deep that I can’t hold it anymore for this dawn. And so unfortunately for me, I don’t really have a shoulder where I can borrow for a while. I have education friend for me to be professional, but other then that, its really hard for me to share my sentiment because I want to and trying my best to be professional as I can and not be affected with my own sorrow story. I don’t blame them. It’s just me choosy in this kinda things for whom I share with. I’m just being a natural person with personal concepts.

There’s one way out and one way in
Back to the beginning
There’s one way back to home again
To where I feel forgiven

What is this I feel, why is it so real
What am I to say

It’s only love, it’s only pain
It’s only fear, that run through my veins
It’s all the things we can’t explain
That make us human

I am just an image of something so much greater
I am just a picture frame, I am not the painter
Where do I begin, can I shed this skin
What is this i feel within

It’s only love, it’s only pain
It’s only fear that runs through my veins
It’s all the things you can’t explain
That make us human

Human – Civil Twilight (House MD season 4 OST)

I’m here alone, being sad and it’s normal. I miss that person a lot and I’m fine with this feelings. Although its pain I weight, I still need to sail my boat away. I’m alone, I have nothing to impress anymore.. only work, only work.. I have to agree with Grace bloggers:

Suicide.

If it wasn’t a sin, if we weren’t sent straight to hell, I would be dead by now. I would not be standing here, I wouldn’t be alive, I wouldn’t even be here to go through all this pain and shit. I’ve cut myself a lot of times, killing myself would be a lot easier. Thankfully, god made it that way. I’m not blaming anyone for the things I’ve gone through, as it’s stated, ‘the good things in life comes from god, the bad things in life comes from us’.

I know, those people who know what I’m going through is probably tired of me now. Everyday I prayed and hope for them to stay for me a little longer. I’m scared to lose them, I’m scared they’ll get really tired and asked me to F off. Sometimes I rather keep everything inside, the pain, the sleepless nights, the lack of foods. I rather not say, then to have them walk away from me. But other times, I really just want them to listen and hug me every now and then, and most of all just being there doing nothing, just being there. But the thing is, I don’t want to be so selfish, I don’t want them to think that my pain is more important than my life itself, and their lives and problems too. And I don’t want them to also think that I’m not appreciating them, because I do. I appreciate them for staying with me this far with this entire thing going on. I’m just scared they’ll get really tired.

Your all I think about, nothing changed, I still love you, I miss your voice, and every time I want to reach my phone to call, I cried, I stopped myself, my ego defended me, if I can just have you back with I’m sorry.

I’m not hoping for tonight, but what’s going to happen tonight will alter my life.

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

Sometimes I feels like that too. You felt you have nothing anymore. How important and how valuable and in need that person is so genuine that we ourselves don’t want to live anymore after loosing it. its all true.. obsession and love. Its wrong, but the wrong is just so strong we can’t feel the whole concept to be inappropriate.

Random things that I personally want to write, because I miss something.

So yeah, Hello Khaterine McPhee, Long time no see dear, so I heard, she got married last 2nd Febuary (2008), Sundayi n a Beverly Hills Presbyterian Church with a gospel choir, her long term boyfriend Mr. Nick Cokas. Both engaged last year:

Katharine McPhee, 23, is reportedly engaged to her boyfriend of a year, 42-year-old actor Nick Cokas.
“Katharine is bubbling over with excitement for her upcoming wedding,” a source says. “She is all smiles when she talks about the planning. It sounds like everything is going very smoothly.”
The two met in 2005 when they performed in a Los Angeles theater production of The Ghost and Mrs. Muir. Their relationship began as a friendship.
“He took me up to my San Francisco (Idol) audition,” McPhee said. “We totally fell in love,” she said.

So best of luck to both of them, Hope they are wonderfully having a great time, stronger bond each and everyday together:

The 23-year-old American Idol also-ran tied the knot with her 42-year-old boyfriend, Nick Cokas, in Beverly Hills on Saturday.
“(Nick) is the love of my life,” she said. “This is a once in a lifetime occasion and everything is just perfect.”
McPhee wore a strapless ivory Manuel Mota gown and Neil Lane jewels (diamond and platinum chandelier earrings and diamond and platinum bracelets), while Cokas wore an Armani tuxedo. Fellow season five Idol contestants Kellie Pickler and Mandisa were among the 305 guests on hand for the nuptials.

I respect her love life, dating him before she was yet famous that time. This is call a soul mate right. Bless to both of you. I wish someday I could meet her face to face. She’s gorgeous. and she looks like Afta’s Cuzn hehe, Syukrina (Azam and Azka’s Lil Sister!, well she has grown up now, gorgeous lady dah). Oh well. and ladies and gentlemen, Age is just a factor. Even 60-year-old James Woods is with an 21-year-old girlfriend, Ashley Madison. It’s amazing for such things to happens. This is also congratulatory happen to International Diva, Céline Dion, her love for a 24 age differences:

During this time there were also important developments in Dion’s personal life. In 1988 Angelil (Dion’s manager and future husband that time) crossed the line from manager to romantic partner when he kissed Dion one night after a show in Dublin. Fearful that fans would find the 26-year difference in their ages unsettling, the couple kept their relationship a secret for several years. But their 1994 wedding in Montreal’s Notre Dame Basilica was celebrated not only by the 250 invited guests, but by millions of fans worldwide.

I know, Dion’s husband René Angélil has fully recovered from his cancer throat, that put an halt to Dion’s career; but I hope he will stay healthier =). So yeah this is a love of a lifetime. And we love this kinda of stories…

That’s all, Adios