What I dream (wish) to have as a teacher?

  • My very own classroom. Technically the room is mine and only I can use and set the room. Sharing ecosystem is very challenging here.
  • At least 4 RM VerTable Interactive Tables. 5 would be a blessing.
  • At least 25 Windows 10 tablets, with Microsoft Office 365 for pupils. At least 10″ screen size, 4GB RAM with 64GB of HDD. Wireless/portable keyboards for each tablets.
  • 25 wireless mouses. For Mouse Mischief activities. Also for tablet usage.
  • 2 printers. For black and colour printing.
  • Speakers (Stereo).
  • 15 students.

A dream of 21st Century teaching space in Brunei. I know I can work well with it and deliver 21st Century Teaching and Learning.

Costs: About 60-80 thousands Brunei dollars.

Objective: Effective Teaching English language and Science and 21st Century Skills

Mission: Saving the future of Brunei.

I am Executive!

Executive

Executive Everything is under control.

You are honest and decisive with an inborn leadership. You can rapidly notice the methods and procedures which are illogic and inefficient. You can continuously add and develop a new system to solve the organizational problems. You like to make a long term plane for yourself and genuinely accomplish it. You are well informed with a large horizon. You also would like to express your thoughts to other people.

ENTJ Celebrity: Napoleon Bonaparte, Emperor

Notice: the purpose of this test is to find your inborn tendencies. It is similar to asking if you area right-handed or left-handed. The percentages in the figure only stands for how sure you are about whether you are right-handed or left-handed when you take the test. Each individual has their own character tendency. Some of the tendencies may be obvious, but some may not. Once your character type is confirmed, the percentages are not so important. There is no saying that I am 80% introverted, just as you cannot say I am 80% left-handed. There is no good or bad characteristics. Knowing yourself is not for labeling yourself, but for developling your advantages and controlling your disadvantages.

Introversion I or Extroversion E – You can get your energy from where you focus your attention.

Your are Extroverted Tendency, that concerned about how you influence the outer environment: concentrating your psychological forces and attention on the outer world and communication with other people and like meeting, discussion and chatting.

people different from you are Introverted Tendency, that concerned about how the changes of the outer environment influence yourself: concentrate your psychological forces and attention on your inner world, and focus on your inner experience, thinking, idea and emotion. You prefer to think independently and read.

Sensation S or Intuition N – What will you notice more when you receive and perceive the information from the surrounding world.

Your are iNtuition Tendency, that like abstract theories and principles. You are concerned with the entirety of things and the tendency of change and development. You are concerned about inspiration, imagination and creativity. You like implication, analogy, connections, possibility, inference and prediction.

people different from you are Sensing Tendency, that are conerned about the detailed information gained through sense perception: things that you see, hear, smell, taste and touch. You notice details and descriptions more. You like to use and develop the skills you already have.

Thinking T Or Feeling F – How do you make decisions.

Your are Thinking Tendency, that pay attention on the logic relationships among things. You like to evaluate and make decisions through objective analysis. You are very rational, objective and fair. You think principles are more important than being flexible.

people different from you are Feeling Tendency, that attach the most importance to the feelings of yourself and other people. The value and harmony will be your standard for evaluation.You are very sympathetic, kind, friendly and considerate. You always think about how your your behavior will effect the feelings of other people.

Judging J or Perceiving P – How do you organize and design life.

Your are Judging Tendency, that like to make judgements and decision. You like to make plans and would like to manage, control and drive for the results. You focus on accomplishing the task. In your daily life, you hope your life is organized, step by step and respect the timeline.

people different from you are Perceiving Tendency, that need to collect more information before you make a decision. So you try to understand and adapt. You focus on process and change your goals based on the information changes. You always allow for unforeseen circumstances in your daily life. You like a loose and free life style, which may be bit disordered.

Ge your psychometric test here! http://www.arealme.com/16types/en/

A Vocational Personality Radar Test

Depression – It doesn’t go away.

I had it since my late teen. It doesn’t go away.

Depression is a constant sadness, emotionally.

Depression is when people around you got shocked when you suddenly become fat or thin.

Depression doesn’t help you to sleep.

Depression is when you feel there is no purpose in living.

The irony is that, how you thought you want it to go away or erase it, you still got it. It does come back, in sec, hour, days, weeks, months or years.

When I first got it; for my many nights, or even afternoon my pillow will become soak wet from the random tears. You feel torture just thinking about something and eventually crying it out helps to stop the nonsense and helps you get sleep.

How did I survive without therapy and drugs? Well, at one point you did confess you want to die to your best bud. But, I think He doesn’t take it too seriously. Don’t blame him, being a random person doesn’t makes people take me seriously. But, I was deadly serious. But it does feel good to confess that you wish to die. Just like a movie.

Why am I still here? Pretty much the credit goes to my faith. It is good to have religion. I guess , any religion. I’m a muslim btw. Religion helps to think about reasons, love, sins, heaven and hell. Honestly, that is the only reason why I’m still here (alive).

Living with it, everyday? I design my living. The danger comes when I’m all alone and have nothing to do. So, I like to keep myself busy. I cook. I do read books. I read cooking books. I read biography to seek how people live their lives. I read Psychology magazine a lot! I have a collection of psychology academic books, to get a glimpse of how (my) brain works. But, honestly, I still have no clue how it works. I like to plan things in advance. I’m a structure person. Planing helps me to be busy in my mind too. I like instructional design on things. If I want to travel to someplace new, I’ll be planing it for years. I do get pleasure of planing it. Traveling alone really helps. Its like solving a puzzle in some people’s country. The difficulties of not speaking their native language really kick the challenge. I do think I do some philanthropist work. I believe helping others would help them less sad like me.  Working is important to me. Pretty safe to say, I’m a workaholic. I like to keep my job complete. Unless, I’m very tired or I really dislike doing it.

Advice to those with Depression. For those who can afford therapy, then go for it. For those who don’t, then share it. I believe it is best to get therapy and talk it out. It loosen the brain pain. Lastly, try and get a religion. It might help your life with a living purpose.

Tired of me, because of you.

“I’m looking at a potential to be our next presenter, can I have your name?” – “no no no, I can’t give you my name:” giggled around as I responded it… – sorry, I am honoured, but I’m not what you are looking for.

Forgive me, I’ve done facilitating for a certain subject over the years, built love, commitment and put heart on a certain subject as with the people I worked with too, and certainly felt attached to it.. I remember a phone call at night asking for my interest, that lifted my heart and joy but then failed to establish the invitation if not a promise. It did not only broke my interest, but it also broke my passion a bit. You made me a stalker over the past years, trying to learn through my friends series of photo albums – where they usually kindly shared photos of their workshops. I’ve become resilient, and continued to learn from their captured photos – putting efforts not to feel left behind academically.

As their journey articulated to a more advance learning, who am I to beg? I quit stalking to learn. I moved on with my life. I am done, and I am history. Being told as inexperience, really meant to me as being told as being not good enough. It made me realise few or more things, and it put me in a position to be able to accept the painful facts. Say whatever the reasons that that may find peace, as I can’t stop them to please themselves. I am ordinary or weird, all people dies eventually.

With so many drama in the past, the up and horrible, the best option is, to do what I should have done earlier – focus on what I have – keep on reading, continue to learn and keep trying my best to be responsible and hopefully I could complete what I’m suppose to finish. I give up on certain people, organisation, and system. I’m tired of trying. Tired of begging and signaling to let others know and understand my needs. Tired of people seeing through me. Tired of not getting what I really want. Tired of wanting to get my dream education.. Tired of me, because of you. But I am still here.

2017. A dream, an education and a life experience.

Ahh.. How the brain keep telling me about the day and time, and how long it has been counting. 9 years long and still counting. I hope 2017 will come any sooner.. I hope that year, my long exhausted dream will eventually come true. Sacrifice the money, be a money poor for many years just to acquire a dream, an education and a life experience.

Most friends, are married and some are raising kids already. I’m still here; still raising myself – finding myself – my own kind of fulfilling life’s adventure. Some kind of bucket list to do and achieve before death. Yes, life, it doesn’t have to be the same as the rest of the people. But why does people’s time and the cycle of life expectation must be the same?

Pre-service scholarships rejected me; then in-service application don’t want me either. God’s knows, how I really want that experience; so that I can move on. Don’t judge me, nor I want you to understand me. But it is some kind of my psychology needs.

IF only I have a lot of money; accompanied with many other things – then this life will be much simpler. Others would say, life would be dull if it were too easy. But I would say, “I have already faced too many dramas and too many tragedies.. I would rather live the dull moment than the hardships and the lingers”.

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